justrun-.

wrong

i don't even know what i'm doing. you'd expect that when one's so lost, someone would come save you from the demons in your head. to ease the pain. but it hurts so much that you're convinced the pain will never go away until some miracle happens.

to make things worse, the body's breaking down. into some shite. crazy crap. you have no idea what it's like to wake up feeling like a pile of shit for 5 days running. then proceed to feel like throwing up. my head's pounding. my body's damn freaking tired. but life must go on... sigh i can't even think straight.

breathing's a pain in the lungs and windpipe.

to top it all off. i have pissed the hell out of --. i hate pissing the hell out of people. but to piss the hell out of -- is worse. especially when it's over my damn asthma and training.

suddenly i just want to sit in bed and rot. training suddenly seems useless, meaningless and just stupid. i don't know why i put in so much effort into everything, only to realise that i've been doing everything for nothing.

the next 9 days are so important. or at least, they were. months, leading up to this last stretch. why must this happen now. of all times. geez.

gah. anyway, i think i put on like 2kg in 2 days. this is what happens when you come home from hell. you put on weight. hah.

[pat]* decided to runaway-.

put on her shoes at [10:02]

and took [20060623] strides

it's the passion that drives you